How to Slowly Let Your Baby Mama Fall for You Again
Well my fiance (23) and I (26) take been going through this rollercoaster. We've only been together for two.5 years and have a son that is 22 months old. She got pregnant only after 2 months of dating and nosotros got engsged shortly after. Nosotros've broken up a few times only to get back together. This time it's much more serious. Information technology has been over a month since she broke upwardly with me.
But before nosotros bankrupt up nosotros were talking about the business firm I recently closed escrow on and how nosotros were moving out of our parents and going to actually showtime being simply our family and raising our son. She was so excited on decorations, furniture, pigment and all. Now it seems like its all down the drain and I'll be coming home to an empty business firm
We bankrupt upwards because of little arguments and the fact that I talked to people she didn't similar (and hid information technology) about our human relationship to get advice and she thought I was putting our concern out there. It happened more than one time. Even though she told me to stop.. yeah stupid. I did this because she never gave me the time and twenty-four hours to sit down down and communicate with her. Too I guess the fact that I work, take care of our son, and the stresses of life, I but didn't focus on what she was telling me and some of it went in ane ear and out the other..
Well this past month she has been very cold towards me. Someday I would phone call or text she seems annoyed and mad. I see my son everyday still when I go off work I go there and she still wants the states to put him to sleep together in the same bed and I exit when he falls comatose. I try and ask her to talk virtually things simply she keeps proverb she said what she said and it'southward done. She says she resents me and doesn't desire to exist together.
Lately I've turned toward her mom who is very religious and started reading some cloth. I've already started to change by non contacting the people she didn't like. Both our families want us to work out and eventually become married.
Yesterday her parents and us sabbatum down and talked they become involved cuz she is even so living under their roof. They desire u.s. to work, but all she says is she'south not in honey with me, she doesn't want to be with me, she isn't attracted to my personality. I did beg, cry, plead and not give her the space I said I would and she wanted, I'm scared I pushed her too far.
I already barely get to be with my son because I'm at work all twenty-four hour period.. I don't want it to be any less. Whatever communication from anyone with kids on getting the female parent of their child dorsum? It only seems like she wants space but I don't know...I really want my family back...
#2
9 years ago
Have you considered that there may exist some other guys in the motion-picture show. Perchance somebody she met online or at piece of work? She can't exist that **** at yous for talking with people about the relationship. Especially since she wouldn't talk to you. How do y'all expect to accept a family with this woman when the two of y'all tin't even sit downward and talk? How practise you expect her to trust yous when yous don't listen?
But besides that. I feel like the firm and all that scared her. She got meaning only after being with you for two months and didn't really accept the time to call back near whether or not she liked you. And so she merely stayed considering she had to. And so when things got serious, her real feelings for you came out. The stuff she said was pretty serious. She is not attracted to you and doesn't love you like that. She respects yous as the male parent and will take your child support, but she won't be your wife. Anybody else is in her head telling her that this should work out because you have a kid, only it'south not what she wants.
#three
9 years ago
I know there's no other guy, as im even so going at that place to exist with my son and nosotros still put him to sleep together, she doesn't work just goes to school total time and a mom full time, it's a tough situation I really thought this girl was the one and I don't know if anyone had any experience simply will space help?
#4
9 years ago
You can pull back a fleck, but that means not seeing your son as much and that is something you lot don't want. Don't exist then certain there is no other guy. Y'all are not effectually her 24/7 and she is in school so she could take met someone there or but has her eye on him.
#5
9 years ago
You should also stop talking to her family and anyone else considering that is what she asked of you lot in the first place. She doesn't really want anyone to know what is going on. Simply don't call her or text her. See your son and put him to bed and and then just walk out of the house without saying anything. Trust me, that will get her attention.
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#half-dozen
9 years ago
Try to mind to what she says and deliver what you tin. That should assist.
Yous know her best so should be able to tell if there is anyone else involved.
#vii
nine years agone
the limited contact is working a little fleck more than, she doesnt seem to be as annoyed when I go over. However, she yet seems afar. I know for a fact there is no other guy. any more advice from here on? It has been over a month already... should I be putting my son to sleep with her still?
#8
7 years ago
Dear Friend
I know information technology sound strange but it works, give the woman some space, maybe showtime seeing your child in one case a week cause a little bit of space is needed, and then you will realize how she feel about you and starting a family unit with you. The problem is not you here and you guys got a child in the very early phase of the relationship and i guess information technology was not planned and even though you dear the child maybe it was not what she want.
A expert marridge comes from god and so i suggest that yous seek his guidance and try to speak to your pastor for guidance.
#9
7 years agone
Do yous have an email? I'yard going through the same verbal affair
#x
7 years agone
I'chiliad going through the same thing myself except my girlfriend and I was together for 3 years so had a son and was together until about four or 5 months ago and I spend a lot of time at her new identify with my son when he is there but I know that there is some other guy even though I'm in that location a lot I nevertheless know that there'south someone she met off the internet so don't exist and then certain that at that place's non a guy but it doesn't really matter for me every bit long equally she never brings him around my child merely space is a skilful thing to a point but if you really desire to work out I wouldn't requite her also much space I would remind her of the good times and brand sure our mindI would remind her of the adept times and make certain I'm completely confident considering women really love confident homo remind her that you beloved her and even if she don't love you now that you tin wait don't say this too much only remind her from time to time it may exist a long route merely if you lot actually want your family unit back as bad every bit I want mine so yous take nothing but time. adept luck I hope everything works out for me and you both.
#eleven
vii years agone
Hey wade this thread was over 2 years old and trust me when I know what you're going through and things went from the lowest and hardest times of my life to being improve. Shoot me an email if you lot need to talk or cuz I know how it is. S_ng at iCloud
#12
seven years ago
My girlfriend and I bankrupt up a few weeks ago . Nosotros were in and off for 16 years . We have a 5 year old together . During the holidays , she was diagnosed with phase 1 Chest Cancer . I was physically there for her but every time she wanted to talk about it I pushed it aside . I honey this woman . At present if I text her she says she doesn't want to chat ! I accept my son everyday because of her piece of work schedule , he only justs sleeps there . Any advice to attempt to win her dorsum would help . She completely shut me out of her life .
#13
6 years agone
Please any please help i went thru the same matter here i met my girl at the pier we feel in dear under the moon lite, we moved in the get-go week n pregnant on the 2nd month after my daughter turned a year she left me for same lil arguments.. She said i didnt requite her attention... So as soon as i observe it i tire to get her dorsum she moved out wen my girl was 8months... So a calendar month after my daughters birthday i found out she was seeing an other guy.. I lost her n i feel like **** every night and 24-hour interval... On march 2015 they turned out a year together ... N nonetheless i still miss her... Due north what i hate is wen they argue she comes running to me due north i autumn for information technology everytime... N wen they go happy again she leaves me n ignores me... Aid me what can i exercise.. I come across my daughter for a whole week 24/vii north the next week is hers... I taught my daughter to walk, talk, count, n b polite.... She doesn't do **** to my daughter she rather punish my daughter if she does something to upset her new boyfriend... Help me delight....
#14
6 years ago
Hey Carlos,
It's tough. and I'one thousand sorry to hear what you are going through. it seems she needs to grow up and understand that the differences between you ii should not get in the style and has nothing to do with your girl. Right at present you lot should focus on yourself and raising your daughter.
#15
six years ago
I know this is one-time only if anybody new stumbles upon this — Aye, give her all the infinite she asks for. You have to accept what she said and get. Give her none of your attention and keep doing YOUR matter. The things that were in one case bonny about you probably were long gone. Sticking effectually waiting for her to fall for y'all once again like a puppy waiting for a treat is NOT going to do it for her. If anything she'll be far less attracted and push you by the wayside. She may become back with you but she feels similar she can have you whenever she wants when you act like that. YOU need to know your worth and be the challenge. She volition desire you back when she sees you thriving (& other women will be attracted to you lot when you're on a coil similar this as well) and she'll know information technology. Don't beg, don't cry, don't linger and drop hints and say you lot want her and will wait for her — none of that. Exist stoic. Watch Mad Men and be Don Draper if you take to. Keep your dignity. You'll regret being a little B**** for her and she never takes you back. You'll detest that you gave her your manhood like that. Be a man. Do human being sh*t. She'll come around. And if she doesn't, then what! You lot'll be improving yourself, e'er be there for your child(s), and you'll be attracting tons of women along the style. Piece of work on YOU. If she doesn't recognize that y'all're dope dude doing dope things, You lot shouldn't fifty-fifty want her.
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#16
vi years ago
U got information technology bang on mate !!!! I've been that man who kept running back and just mugging myself of and so they end upwards simply using u like a ***** for as long as you permit them but when they no your not intrested and your looking after yourself and seeing your kid and not paying her atention, things will alter for her simply by so mate yous wont be intrested, information technology will be just about your kids, save the bull **** and motility on because all your practice is make your self suffer longer and while your still trying all she is doing is getting herself over y'all in her head she call you round and then relise why she dnt similar you and so the nxt week she volition think about it invite yous round then she will relise he just keeps coming dorsum and back and so your only her ****
#17
6 years agone
Wow I just read some of ur post and information technology's crazy cause I'thousand going threw the same thing ive been wit my 10 for iv 1/2 years nosotros accept a beautiful 2 twelvemonth quondam babe girl that I love wit all my center .we been going threw ups due north downwards for about a year ... I experience in that location'southward another man but oasis caught her nevertheless ...there's a lot to recall about crusade u never know whats really on there head when they experience the way they practise ..... I tried to talk to her and at that place no communication ...what should I practise ...
#18
6 years agone
hi guys im going through a similar affair atm. was with my gf for ix years we have 3 kids together had alot of upwardly and downwardly through the years .ive been bad to her shes been bad to me. a month agone she broke it off with me. manifestly she felt neglected united nations wanted and i didnt fancy her because we was barely having sex. apparently im controlling and paranoid. ive merely learnt shes been talking ii a guy for a while just nothing has happened. i simply want her and my kids dorsum is there any advice guys delight ☹️
#xix
six years ago
Does she know you desire her back? Information technology sounds as if you don't agree that you are "controlling and paranoid." If she said that can she tell you how?
If you desire her back and you feel every bit if you can talk civilly to her, maybe the two of you should have a talk. Perhaps she wants marriage and didn't think she was going to get it from you afterward 9 years and 3 kids.
#20
6 years ago
i practise want her dorsum shes the love of my live im in pieces. i did use to control her abit not wanting her to become out. and i am paranoid considering she cheated on me once years dorsum. she just said a month back she feels neglected by me and unwanted because nosotros didnt have sex activity forva while and we constantly fence. she says nosotros are not meant to be and we are non right for each other. 1 minute she says she still loves me the adjacent she doesnt anymore. i said i desire to go assistance for my issues. only she said its done and is happy noe and simply for me to exist a expert dad. but i just want my family back i dont know what to do
#21
6 years agone
Am going through the aforementioned thing but saying I don't no what I want we have a son together I moved out because I wanted to end the arguments and move frontwards but because I moved out she thought it was over and she pretty much signalled it was I started to go a bit nasty and say things I never ment because I was angry I want her back but how
#22
6 years ago
I'm in the same situation. She took our daughter and left 2 weeks agone. She all the same brings her over every nighttime. our problem was that I have been working 10-12 hours a day and chose to drink a beer or ii when i got dwelling from piece of work due to stress to endeavour and relax. Sometimes I did have more than a few and did impaired stuff but never annihilation like cheating or fighting. Information technology didnt help. At present im not drinking at all merely she says its to late. I know if i could go another hazard we could piece of work things out. nosotros were together for well-nigh iv yrs before nosotros had our daughter. And I can't stand not being with them at night
#23
6 years ago
This is to every guy out there going through the never catastrophe bike I only desire to say I'm experiencing the aforementioned matter but to put things in a better perspective don't worry about how you can get her back if that's where you've set your listen you take to proved her incorrect by bettering yourself in every attribute she accounted unfit but also find yourself amend yourself for non only you but your child I'm unsure if me and the mother of my kid will ever get back together merely I know my child deserves the all-time from me
#24
6 years agone
#25
6 years ago
Great advice mate going through that verbal thing
#26
half dozen years ago
To all y'all guys going through this..I have been there and won and lost and at present currently trying again.
We were together vii years ( off and on the past two) and engaged. She barbarous significant after year 5 and we split (she left) three months into pregnancy because of silly argumemts, bad communication and money worries.
She bankrupt all contact for over 3 months but nosotros got back together after babe was born....but how??...the no contact rule (NC)
Please look information technology upward guys if y'all oasis't heard of information technology.
Afterwards serious breakups it's essential to follow it.
Now it doesn't mean y'all'll go dorsum together. It's used to "repair" yourself (usually later making a fool of yourself with the begging and pleading).
During NC yous better yourself immensely. She and then intern sees this more confident man (hitting the gym is essential personally, as it'south a major stress releiver) and MAY decide to open better lines of communication with y'all, and so take it wearisome from at that place.
NC worked twice for me with her (tertiary fourth dimension lucky....I know, merely I ain't giving up on her. She and the child are my life....and there may be some other guy....only NC can work for you there besides!!).
Information technology applies a fiddling dissimilar when kids are involved.....only research it guys.
Practise NOT HOUND HER!! Girls observe that unbelievably unattractive!
Good luck to you all!!
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#27
6 years agone
How-do-you-do guys i been reading through all these comments and me and my girl of 5 years are going through some tough times rite now. We have 2 beautiful children together one is 2 and the other is 6 months. Well basically she told me mon that she needed some space and fourth dimension to focus on herself shes xx and im 22, i asked her what was the reason that she wanted space soo she told me that she doesnt know what she wants rite now and that she loves me merely non in love with me anymore. Hearing them words killed me and i basically showed all my emotions because i dont experience the aforementioned manner I LOVE HER and i was planning on marrying her this year. Soo the final couple of days she comes dwelling from work and is acting like she dont care about me merely still wants to talk about other matter merely non how nosotros can solve the problem. She also told me she has a guy friend only nothing just talking because shes still living under my roof and is currently looking for another spot. I been triying to stop thinking almost information technology only the more i think the more than i want to get inquire questions so i can find out why just i never get a reaponse. She says im a neat male parent and a cracking homo but she says that we argue 2 much and information technology made her non want to dearest me nomore. I asked her if theres a chance of us making our family unit whole again she says she dont know. Tin someone please give me some advice on what should i do ive never felt pain like this.
#28
6 years agone
Howdy Josean
I understand your pain. I'm going through a like thing at present (if you lot read the previous mail before yours). What you need to exercise at present is concentrate just on you and the children.
No corporeality of panicking and freaking out infront of her volition assistance.
This volition exist hard, but yous need to try to accept that you may not get back together and that she is seeing some other guy.. That is what I'm currently dealing with .... But!!....
...if you were a great dad then she won't forget that.
This new guy is gonna be a rebound.. and rebounds very rarely workout peculiarly when children are involved.
Yous now need to be the all-time, Confident, happy dad those kids, and her, tin see!
Go along supporting her with the kids. Pick them upwardly from hers (if that's the case) with a smile. Make very piddling conversation unless at that place's long periods y'all're with her, and then talk over anything full general similar movies, the news etc. Practise NOT BRING Upwards YOUR Human relationship!!
She needs to miss you. She needs to realise that no other guy tin can be the best dad to your kids.
The big problem you have is that you're still living nether the same roof.
That does brand information technology hard. Simply requite her the space she needs. If y'all tin sleep in another room then exercise so. Simply make certain yous know you're doing this for her and her space.
Leave your heartache and crying at home (when you're alone) or with family and friends. Thats what I practice.
Im a mess at home. Crying and in and so much pain...just I've washed this before with her before baby was born and she did miss me.
But you've also got to think.. "are yous both really meant to be??"
Wow!!...thats **** hard to ask yourself. But really think what happened in the breakup of the relationship and can those problems be fixed?!?
You lot demand to practice the No Contact dominion.
Better yourself for you...which intern makes y'all more attractive.
Very hard when living together..just await it up as it can apply in your state of affairs.
So.. Skilful luck....Call up, be happy effectually her and kids. Don't beg and cry around her. If she does tell you lot things y'all don't want to here, be brave and just wish her happiness.
It will rip you apart inside, but she needs to run into the "amazing dad" she could exist with and fall in love with again...
#29
6 years ago
Thank you for the advice jay luv i woke up today thinking of how stupid i fabricated myself look and that maybe our family unit will never be whole again. Im gonna focus on myself and start going out with friends that ive been ignoring for the last couple years because of my relationship. Im gonna attempt the no contact dominion and everyday i will try and exist as happy as possible because i really cant live like this. Similar you said maybe she will see that nobody can be a amend father to my kids and man to her i volition keep updating while this procedure is going i promise everything worksout for y'all and your family unit.
#xxx
6 years ago
Hey Josean. I wish you all the best dude. And you lot stick to it!!! Whatever the consequence you'll be a improve man at the terminate of it.
I'grand currently with her and the baby at present. Shes told me today that in that location kinda is someone else, merely I chatted to her mum while she was upstairs and her mum says she is conflicted and actually dosent like the idea of me moving on.
We're literally at a crossroads in life.
I told her I had a date tomorrow nighttime (I shouldn't take) but she did well-upwards and was on the boarder of crying, but held back.
I said I don't need to keep the date if we could work something out.
This probably goes against what I've been suggesting just after chatting to her mum I felt I had to requite it a go.
I know she doesn't want a broken family then I'one thousand not pressuring her....merely playing it absurd.
Source: https://www.relationshiptalk.net/i-want-my-family-back...-getting-back-mother-of-child-fiance-34202232.html
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